Three Months In, When Your Child Says They Want to Quit

Everything goes well at first. A new device arrives, and your child enjoys meeting the teacher for the first time. Parents also feel that this time it might work.

Then, after a few months, the mood changes. Your child asks if they can skip it today, gets distracted while it is running, and starts falling behind. This is different from the initial resistance that comes just a few days after starting. This is boredom that sets in once it has become familiar.

Most families go through this stage. The problem is that a poor decision here can waste both money and time. First, you need to distinguish whether the service is a poor fit or this is simply a difficult phase.

01When Only the Novelty Has Worn Off

This is the most common case. There is nothing wrong with the program; the initial novelty has simply worn off.

There is a way to tell. If your child manages reasonably well once they start but has difficulty getting started, the issue is motivation, not the content. If getting them seated is a struggle but they complete the full 20 minutes once they begin, the issue is motivation rather than the content.

In this case, adjust the amount and the time of day. Cut 30 minutes to 15 minutes, and move it to a time when your child is less tired. Usually, things get back on track within 2 weeks. Once the routine is established, you can gradually restore the reduced amount.

02When the Content Is Not a Good Fit

There are other signs. Your child starts but keeps stopping midway, repeats the same section, and cannot remember what they did afterward.

This is likely a difficulty-level issue. If it is too difficult, your child struggles through it and then gives up. If it is too easy, they become bored and let it pass without taking it in. Both appear outwardly as reluctance to do it.

If the service allows level adjustments, ask for one. If an adjustment makes no difference, it is time to change the approach.

03How to Tell Which It Is

Several of these can overlap. Change one thing at a time and watch how your child responds.

04What Parents Should Not Do

There are three common responses at this stage.

First, offering a reward. For example, promising to buy something if your child finishes. It gets them moving for the moment, but when the reward disappears, they stop as well. The next time, they will need a bigger reward.

Second, comparing your child with another child. Telling them how far someone else has already progressed will not motivate them. It only gives them one more reason to dislike English.

Third, stopping everything abruptly. If your child takes a month off, what they had built up beforehand begins to come apart. Starting again is harder than it was the first time.

05A 2-Week Experiment

If you decide to make changes, change one thing at a time and assess it over 2 weeks. If you change several things at once, you will not know what worked.

For the first 2 weeks, reduce only the amount. Cut 30 minutes to 15 minutes. If this gets things back on track, the amount was the cause. If not, change the time of day for the next 2 weeks. If that does not work either, adjust the level.

If you have tried all three and nothing has changed, it is time to change the approach. It takes time to reach this point. Even so, it costs less than reaching a hasty conclusion, switching, and then having to switch again.

06What to Check When Switching

If you have decided to switch, start by reviewing the contract documents. The clauses you skipped over when you signed up often become relevant here. Whether there is a cancellation fee and how the device must be returned will affect your decision that day.

At the new provider, start again with an assessment. Each company uses different criteria to assign levels, so the number may go down. If your child sees this as going backward, they may become discouraged from the outset. Tell them in advance that only the method of measurement has changed.

It is also important to avoid a gap. If you stop the previous program before beginning to look for the next one, a month can easily pass. Choose the next program before stopping the current one.

07Signs That It Is Working Again

Parents ask how they can tell whether things are improving after making adjustments. It is difficult to see from progress alone. The signs appear elsewhere.

The first sign is less struggle when it is time to start. If your child comes when called, that alone means they have moved past the difficult phase. The next sign is that they tell you what they did afterward. If they tell you before you ask, it means something from that day has stayed with them.

An even clearer sign is that they miss it on days when they do not do it. If your child asks why they are not doing it on a day skipped because of travel or another commitment, the routine has taken hold.

When you see this sign, gradually restore the amount you reduced. Do not return to the original amount all at once; increasing it by 5 minutes at a time is safer.